New You

I have 57 days until your due date. I can't decide if that's a long time or no time at all. I feel you shifting and turning all the time, a foot pressed against my ribs, a knee sticking out, an elbow digging into me. Every move makes me relieved that you're still here. I have such a fear that I won't get to hold you, that I'll somehow lose you between now and being born. Hopefully this is just ridiculous, but it's a fear that won't go away. So I'm enjoying every moment of you - just in case. I can't wait to hold you, to have you. To feel your fingers wrapped around mine, and look into your eyes and welcome you. I hope your birth comes soon and smoothly, I hope we can do it together, calmly and drug-free like your brother's. I hope I can deliver you myself in the water like your brother, that we get to spend time together just being before they take you off to be weighed and dressed.

I can't wait to introduce you to your daddy, your dog, your brother, your grandparents, your house... I want to show you the world. Stay with me.